Decisions

How days pass by in our lives where it seems as though the world has slowed and there is no excitement to be had? How often do we find ourselves trapped in the mundane grind of life? I can't shake this overwhelming melancholy. I still have all the hope and optimism and passion. I just seem deflated right now. I feel like I'm in a nose-dive. I guess the worst part is for anyone who knows how I feel is the ground is getting closer and closer by the second. I feel that even as I stand against the winds of war and hatred and all those terrible things I can feel my knees buckling. I feel so alone that a deserted island would be more comforting and warm, yes perhaps even less alone. You know the old adage "Sometimes the right decision is the hardest one to make" I feel thats where my life has lead. It's been a non-stop daily struggle to fight for the thing I want to do most, which is to help others. I'm reminded of the Incubus song "Pardon Me"
Pardon me while I burst into flames,
I've had enough of the world,
And it's peoples mindless games,
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame,
Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me.

I guess I want to save the world, and I suppose I find truth that one man can save the world or make a positive meaningful difference that lasts. I want peace. A part of my soul feels this deep pain. It's strange maybe you don't believe you have a soul, but I do. I find truth in something bigger than Humanity, but I could feel this strange sickening blunt pain deep inside. I can't describe it as anything other than my soul. It only happens when I think about that stuff. I don't know. My mind has a lot on it right now if you couldn't tell.
I love you all.
I love this planet, and I hate to see what we're doing to it. That's all I guess.

O.